Is "self-help" really helpful?

What if instead of focusing on constant self development, we stopped to admire our “enoughness”?

I had a thought yesterday. We live in a culture fixated on self development or improvement. I can remember very early on being obsessed with the (then called) “self help” section of Barnes and Nobles 😂

I LOVED self development, reading about how I could elevate myself in new ways.

It’s not a surprise that I landed a career within two different amazing cultures (Mark Fisher Fitness and lululemon) that are built on the philosophy of constant self development and goal setting/crushing. And I LIVE for it.

But. I zoomed out last night, and thought: is it ALWAYS a good thing? I see a culture of people around me who are equally enthralled with getting better, which is so inspiring! But at what point does it start to actually hinder us? The constant quest for self development can easily turn into a dialogue of “I’m not enough as I am. The mountain has no top. I need to constantly seek more, get better, evolve constantly. I am not enough as I am. I AM BROKEN.”

I think this trend is especially evident in the amount of life coaches that have exploded over the last few years. Again, I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not saying a quest for self development or life coaching is wrong, heavens no! It’s so beautiful!!! What I am saying is that perhaps sometimes we need to step back and admire the person we are now. Here, today. She took a lot of work and effort, or she didn’t, and it doesn’t matter. Because she is enough in this moment. And she can still admire her reflection today and still want more for herself at the same time.

So today I celebrate your enoughness. I want to remind you that no matter what quest you are on right now, whether it’s to get fitter, be a better spouse, become a better leader, deepen a spiritual understanding, crush an ambitious goal, that you’re also already awesome without those layers, too. And that it’s okay to step back and admire your reflection, while also gazing wistfully into the future picture of who you will become.

Elizabeth Stacey Ellis 

© 2020

DISCLAIMER: Content on this website is provided for general information only; website content does not, and is not intended to, constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or recommended treatments or activities. Consult a physician before beginning any exercise or weight-loss regimen.

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